To fear or not to fear? That is the question...

What are you afraid of?

So, my best friend's brother died this past Sunday morning at 8am.  He was in a freak accident on Friday while doing something he loved - climbing trees and trimming them.  He was harnessed to a tree when the limb he was reaching for broke and pinned him, crushing his internal organs.

This was Joni's worst fear - that his occupation would kill him and it did.  He was her everything and now he was gone.  We will bury him this Friday and I doubt Joni will ever look at trees the same.  But will she still feel fear?  I can't ask her but I wonder.

This got me thinking about fear and how people handle it.  I decided to interview people close to me about their fears; both those who I considered to be creative and those that I didn't.  There was a common theme - that fear of what others thought was on their minds during their creative process.

Creatively, the following people defined fear as:

"Fear is just another form of energy - physical, mental and spiritual.  So, when you stop thinking of fear as something unique and start seeing it as what it is is - another form of energy - you can begin to appreciate and harness it."  Jessica, comedienne.

"Fear is the unknown, a feeling of impending danger or it can stem from my lack of confidence in myself." Danielle, dancer.

"Being terrified that I won't able to come up with something interesting or unique.  There is a pause or freeze at a beginning of a project when you are asked to create from scratch.  You have to create something new from nothing."  Megan, designer. 

It's okay...just hang with me, no judgment.

I also wanted to know if fear stopped them from being creative.  This is what others said:

"Yes. 100% yes."  Emily, sales.

"No.  The best creative opportunities can happen when you challenge yourself to think differently, to take changes, and be willing to actually fail.  The only way to enhance and extend your creativity is to continually grow, work hard and believe in yourself."  Jane, marketing.

"On the contrary, fear motivates me to dig deeper and try harder."  Neal, creative director.

Just be yourself and have fun!

I liked what I was hearing from those I interviewed and wanted to hear more about what people were fearful of when creating.  This is what some others had to say:

"I'm afraid people I respect will find me stupid, uncreative, boring, not funny...the usual fears anyone has who cares that what she/he creates is valued, appreciated and understood."  Kerri, writer.

"It's that feeling of failure or that people will hate what I create or that I've somehow missed the mark.  Therefore, I guess you could say that disappointment is one of my biggest fears." Danielle, dancer.

"Not saying something that others will find interesting.  Fear of being boring."
Jessica, comedienne.

While I was interviewing them, I shared with them the premise of this class.  I asked if they had any advice for me to overcome fear.  They said:

"Be confident that you can come up with more ideas than others can come up with reasons to kill them."  Neil, creative director.

"Don't let it stop you, channel it into the force that drives you to create and continue on.  And, don't take it personally." Megan, designer.

"Failure rarely feels good, but fear of failure can be a great motivator." Kerri, writer.

Reminds me of my parents!

The answers I was given tie very nicely into our class topic about fear of judgment and taking risks.  My biggest fear used to be about dying...now it's about not experiencing everything life has to offer. You never know what you can accomplish.  

Until next time -

Containers, Expressions and Interpretations

Tucker takes time to smell the flowers!

It's planting season and I took the opportunity to apply some of what I learned from Twyla Tharp to gardening.  Here are my empty window boxes and front door container.  This is what I consider my blank canvas or white room:

Now, Twyla style, it's time to do some scratching!  So I went through Charlestown, Boston and the North End to see what's out there and took photos of window boxes and containers I liked.  Purple, yellow and red are popular this year.  It was interesting to see how different people incorporated color and plants to express their creativity.

Planters I liked:

Scratching inspired me and I wanted to find plants for my windows.  I went to Mahoney's Garden Center to find fun varieties in great colors knowing that I would enjoy watching them grow.

I brought them home and created. They aren't as vibrant as the ones I saw through my walks around town but as they grow, I know they will bring me joy!  Here is my finished product:

Window Boxes - Front

Window Boxes - Front

 "You can't use up creativity.  The more you use, the more you have."  Maya Angelou

Mindful Meditation

Mindful Meditation

I sat down to write my first blog but I couldn't decide what to write so Tucker and I went for a walk.  Before this photo was taken, Tucker was running and playing a mile a minute.  Then, he completely crashed.  For a good 15 minutes - like this!  Besides being super adorable, how does a dog lay, belly up in complete peace in the middle of a park?  How does he find it so easy to calm himself with all of the outside distractions to find such solace in the sun?  And,why do we find it so difficult to be in the moment?  I decided to meditate next to Tucker.

 I closed my eyes and tried to quiet my mind.  I kept picturing how quickly Tucker did this and I kept waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for the my mind to slow. I opened my eyes, re-positioned and tried again. I couldn't still the outside distractions.  I tried a few more times but was unsuccessful.  This quote from Eat, Pray, Love reminds me of what needs to be done:

The article "Meditate Your Way To A More Creative Mind" by Anya Kamenetz, talks about how mindful meditation improves your ability to sift through information and focus solely on what's relevant so that you can free up your mind to do what's important.  If we can free our minds of everything we don't need, we can leave them open to possibilities of what do need.  An important aspect for opening up your creativity.

This article also says to meditate for 12 minutes a day to build awareness of what's around you. Today was day seven.  Finding the time has been challenging, silencing my mind has been even more so.  Perhaps I just needed to find my white room...what's not to love about meditation today?  

Wellfleet Beach, Day 7

Creative Muse

My creative muse - Tucker

I really enjoyed discussing the book with the class and hearing the different introductions and questions on each chapter of the Tharp book.  I am looking forward to writing my reflection paper on a few of the chapters and hearing the thoughts of my classmates has helped me start the process of thinking about what to write in the paper.